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full circle....

I haven't posted since May and for good reason.

After my last post, not only did a lot happen in my personal life (great things!), but a lot occurred around me as well. I wanted to let everything proceeding my post come full circle. I wanted to let the protests, the actions, and the conversations marinate before writing again. I wanted to dive into election season and absorb all the info and debate material I possibly could. Oh and I wanted to take in every moment I could with my new born daughter as well.

Image from New York Times

I wanted to be informed, active, and observant. Instead of writing, I read. Instead of posting only my thoughts, I asked around for others'. Instead of making sure only my stances were informed and tailored, I took in perspectives from those who believed that theirs were as well regardless of my opinion. In result, it opened my eyes to a lot. When I did post or express my stance, it was about collectively moving forward and trying my hardest to provide some neutral insight to many complex issues circulating our world. It was trying to expose the good and the bad about multiple sides of multiple talking points. I did it with black lives matter movement, politics, and more. Did I fail? I believe I did sometimes. Often possibly. But from what I observed, I felt much more content with failing by at least trying to see multiple angles, than to stay hidden and comfortable behind what I thought was the only mindset to have. I'd be limiting myself. And trust me, I saw plenty limit their mindset.

Emotions have strung wild, opinions degraded, conspiracies expressed, hate spewed, and exhaustion has followed.

We are tired. We all are. No matter your "side".

I saw so many people tire of being told they're wrong because their opinion differs from the individual seeking them out. I saw people blinded and obsessed by the parade or charade that is our election season. I felt the frustration in so many peoples' words. But while refusing to check our egos and swallow our prides, we get to a place we seem to be experiencing at this very moment. Still. Not understanding that, although we may just be posting our thoughts on our profiles or out of our mouths, all that hate, bluntness, and misinformation can lead to an extremely toxic environment and society. Most of it being hypocritical too by who spews it. And the reasoning, in my humble opinion, is that we all think our own thoughts and opinions are so much more righteous than someone else's. It's our way or the highway.

We are selfish beings by nature. Thats in our DNA. But damn are we that selfish to assume that in a country this big, with the melting pot of people we have making it up, that our one little opinion should be the stronghold of the ENTIRE country? That our little bubble of a life, while not diminishing the value of each, should decide how every single person we interact with lives their life as well? Have we gotten that accustomed to the simplified, "black and white", "this or that" tradition that we've lost the ability to explore any gray area at all? That's what it seems like. And quite frankly I don't think a lot of us truly want to live that way.

Here's the thing about our country. We are each extremely different from just about everyone we come in contact with. Including our family members. We were raised in different households, in different communities, with different financial structures, all the while trying to live and thrive together. So, it's safe to say that because of all those differences that make up who we are at then end of the day, that there is much more complexity in how we envision our "perfect" world. Not that there is a perfect world, but you know what I mean. But at the same time we are all SO similar in so many ways.

My questions remain:

Why do we continue to simplify virtually every single facet of our lives and society?

Why should a policy that is put in place for our country be so cut and dry that we only have two one word answers to state your side? Yes or no.

Why do some people place their beliefs in such a rigid place, that even when something hits home for them, they're unable to empathize and revert back to acknowledge that they may have been wrong about even the smallest detail?

I've done all of that before. And I feel as though some of my approaches lately have even been somewhat naive for people. But, to kind of answer those questions, one thing reigns true: it's tradition. It's how we've always done things. I think the answer lies within our emotional states when it comes to these things. It is how we have been groomed. No matter how logical we think we are, we are all tied to our lives with emotion. Which results in at least SOME bias. Even with something as lifeless as money. We all work hard to earn our money because it provides life for our friends and family. Emotion is tied with that. And when we let those emotions cloud our judgment, no matter how right we think we are, it is hard to revert back to a place of understanding or empathy when confronted with opposition. Even if it's with someone we love. And with the ones we love I hope all of you have found a place of peace, whatever that may be, with the family members you have disagreed with this year.


I can go on and on about these topics. The negative side of my observations over the past year. They will continue to be the sticking point of our viral society for years to come.That's just our country's business model sometimes. But I'd rather end on a positive note. Among all of the things listed above, in the midst of all the self-righteousness, hiding, and ignoring opposition; I realized that a vast majority of us, no matter how we express our beliefs, want similar things. Some tend to get caught up in the social media viral show, but I truly believe that even behind all that rigidness are people that truly want the best for others. And I know that may be a "WTF" kind of statement for some reading. Maybe that's just the optimist in me. I just refuse to believe the opposite because to a basic degree, I understand how much emotions can rile us all up. I know from experience I have said and done things while being "in the moment" that only a day later I somewhat find a way could've been handled differently. Or in a better manner.

There are some moments where I am in true disbelief with society and our people. But then, for some reason, I always transition into a moment of belief. Things can be grimy. It will always be that way. But I like this way of thinking. I like believing in myself, my circle, and the people walking around living their own lives daily. Working to provide for themselves and their families. Because I do the same. In my own way, but within the same concept.

I mean, it's better than the opposite way of thinking right? I think so.

To keep from rambling on about so many things I enjoy dissecting - enjoy the turn of the year. Reflect back on what made you smile. Remember what made you frown and let it be fuel as you continue your days. Continue to reach for your goals not because tomorrow is 2021, but because tomorrow is simply another day and opportunity to do so. Do it happily, fail and learn, and keep growing. Always leave your mind and curiosity open. There is so much to experience in this world and it's so much better to do it with each other.

Live through


Always with


Forever with


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